Yuppie Handcuffs

As is my habit, I fired up the Daily Report, promptly at 12:05 in the
afternoon. And I stumbled across something that profoundly upset me
(and not just the overwhelming support for another casino ... "and finally!
Baton Rouge will no longer be in the cultural and entertainment shadow
of Biloxi!"). Nope, folks, the Thirsty Tiger is closing.

So, a half-century old tradition is now gone. Gone are the
newspapermen, and the downtown workers, and the football fans, and the
service industry crowd, the couple of black gents who were always up
for a discussion of politics, the jazz player or two who stumbled upon
the place, the "absolutely not passable" transvestite
or two, and the guy with the sleeveless shirt in the El Camino. Heck,
Jim McCormack, easily the best barkeep in the 225 was headed out before
the place closed. I'm sure he smelled the change in the air.

And all to be replaced by: A wine and martini bar.

Taking a quick inventory of entertainment options available, I
realized it was time
to hop out my dour funeral garb, and gracelessly second line down Third Street
, which, I'm now gonna call "Wine and Martini Heaven." Yep, friends,
it will be nigh impossible to walk down Third Street without a glass
of wine in the
left hand and a martini in the right! Come ye blessed yuppie handcuffs!

For starters, we've got wine and martinis at the the Wine
Loft. And in just a handful of weeks, we can get wine and martinis at
the M Bar and the Thirsty Tiger.

Immediately after that, we'll be getting wine and martinis before dinner, at
D'Agostino's, or at Capital City Grill, or Tsunami, or the Little Village
(wine and martinis upstairs and downstairs!). And soon,
win and martinis at the new steakhouse under Big Shaw.

Yes folks, in just a few short months, we'll have eight places for wine and
martinis, all within a block.

And, then, who are the holdouts in our new Elysium? First, there are
the frat bars (Roux House and
Happy's), both of which could use a wine and martini makeover.
Then, there are the PENDING frat bars (Schlittz and Giggles), which
could learn a lesson and serve wine and martinis with pizza. Heck,
even the Third Street Daiquiri Company could hop aboard the trend.
Their patrons would just have to overcome a somewhat misleading name.

Not to be outdone, we've also got the Jimmy Buffett set, over in
Avoyelles/Cat House and
Boudreaux and Thibodeaux. Let's be frank here, nothing goes with a
cheeseburger in paradise like a shrimp-decorated glass of white wine
and a filthy martini. Maybe Poor Boy Lloyd's can tell their crowd to hop in,
as well. There's the Red Star, which at one
time was fancied a wine-and-martini bar par excellence. And,
there's the place that will open in the former Richoux's. Maybe, just maybe, a
wine-and-martini joint will lift the curse put on that place.

Yes folks: Seventeen spots to drink within a block of
3rd street, all trying to squeeze that dollar out of that elusive set
of wealthy, young professionals. Those who, astonishingly, can
imagine nothing better to do on a Friday night than go out and pretend that they
are as sophisticated as their peers in suburban Dallas.

We'll set our sights on the Pastime and the gay bars next!

But, honestly folks, I love Baton Rouge, it's my home. I love
downtown. And, I'm even a so-called young professional. But, I'm
overwhelmed by that painful sameness that we're marching toward.

Let's have an Irish pub (with fish and chips, not schoolgirl outfits),
or a pool hall, or a reggae bar, or a juke joint that's not playing a
some tired, accountant-friendly cover of "Brown Eyed Girl", or how
about a late night coffeeshop where the pseudo-anarchists can connive.
Heck, I'd even be supportive of a theater for the artsy-farts.

Or, well, how about just a bar for the everyman? Where he or she can
meet, after work, or class, or a day playing soccer, or a day out
fishing, or after the Spanish Town Mardi Gras Parade. Let any age,
race, creed, or background be welcome. Where we might celebrate, and
meet, and share stories, with friends, family, and the dozens of
people you had yet to meet.

You know.. a bar like the Tiger?